Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My pussy is not your playground.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
