he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
