you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
