I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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