no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
