The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
