Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we should paint friendship bongs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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