I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
