she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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