What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
