i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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