I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
