Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
