How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
