is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
