Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
