Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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