Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
