Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
