talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
