Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you told grandpa to call you daddy
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
