and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
