5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
