i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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