I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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