Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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