Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
