shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
