im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
