Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
