I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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