Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
