Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
