Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
