I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
