Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
