She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
