Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
