why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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