i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
