just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
