are you still at the devil's house?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
