their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
