i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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