I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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