No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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