Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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