Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
