fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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