I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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