You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
