my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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