some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
