Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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